Melita's Inspirational Corner
by Melita Hunt
Last week I wrote about the
importance of creating a new level of thinking to resolve
problems, prompted by an Einstein quote. So continuing
with that theme, I would like to say thanks to the people
that were game enough to send me in their “problems”
last week. Some of them were much longer and more
extensive than I was expecting, so instead of just picking
one email, I am going to take the time to answer all of
you in personal emails because I feel that each issue that
was raised requires individual attention. Please give me
some time to do this because I am off to Mexico for my
third round of treatment next week and cannot promise that
I’ll get to them quickly, but I will reply to each and
every one of you. That is my gift to you for taking the
risk and reaching out.
For today’s article I am going to
touch on a “thread” or a familiar theme that resonated
through some of the emails. Can any of you guess what it
Okay, other than trading?
In addition to trading mishaps, the
theme that resonated clearly as I read through many of the
“problems” was how HARD people tend to be on
themselves. It was no surprise to read because we hear a
lot of people’s problems in the trading field every day
and often it is the same thing over and over again.
Unfortunately there is a misconception that most people
are out there making a ton of money in the markets, and
you may feel that you are the only “Dufus” that is
making mistakes and not winning big. Therefore, there must
be something wrong with you (and this doesn’t just apply
I’d like to change your perception
on that right now. Just shifting out of “bad me” to
“wonderful me” will make a world of difference. And
it’s NOT that hard, unless you decide that it is. And if
that’s the case, then you are obviously getting more
value from being negative about yourself and maybe deep
down you really don’t want to change. It’s all a
Here is just a smidgeon of lines from
some of the emails:
1. I don't trust me. My
confidence is shaken by my trading history.
I have conflicting beliefs that always seem to stop me as
soon as I hit an obstacle.
3. I sense that great things are
possible and want to adjust my thinking of myself as a
failed entrepreneur who needs a day job.
All the stops I may calculate or write down I do not act
on, so I suffer the big draw downs.
5. I am sabotaging myself, but refuse
to consciously admit that profit could be easily
I want to get to a point where happiness and enthusiasm
are my default emotion, rather than irritable and aloof.
7. I get what I want, then manage to
lose it, and now, at 48, losing it and living under money
pressure ain't that comfortable.
How can I feel that I deserve success and remove/delete the
feeling that it's ok to be punished?
How many people out there resonate
with some of these comments? There are probably a LOT of
you. So to all of the people that are out there calling
themselves hopeless or failures or feel that everything
that you do is “wrong”:
are not alone…and
time to stop it.
When Einstein said: We
cannot solve problems with the same thinking we used when
we created them. He didn’t mean that you had to
visit a shaman, or learn how to levitate; he simply meant
that to resolve the problem, you’ve got to be willing to
think differently. And you need to have the willingness to
do whatever it takes to make that happen.
although you are unique as an individual, you are just
like everyone else when it comes to carrying problems. So
stop making such a big deal about how bad things are.
In the eight examples given above,
observe some of the language that was used:
Don’t trust me, confidence is
shaken, beliefs that always seem to stop me, failed
entrepreneur, suffer, refuse to consciously admit,
irritable and aloof, lose it, losing it, remove, delete,
it’s okay to be punished.
To think differently, then you’ve
got to let go of limiting beliefs. Sometimes it is as
simple as just recognizing them and changing them,
especially if there is no “charge” on them.
Example: “I don’t trust me.”
Recognize that it is not an empowering belief.
Change the belief “Of course, I trust myself.”
However, if there is any emotion or
“charge” on the belief, then it needs to be dealt with
or released before the belief can be changed. Or the new
empowering belief just won’t stick.
Changing them is easy; it is finding
the real underlying belief and tension that may take the
work. To delve further into beliefs, you should ask
yourself what, where, when, how, who questions:
What makes me not trust myself
and is it true?
How do I know it’s true?
Where else does it show up in my
When am I most likely not to
How do I feel when I don’t
Where did this start?
Who would I be if I didn’t have
What do I have to do to trust
By asking yourself different
questions and probing, in some cases you may find out
where the original problem really comes from, or you may
just get an “aha” moment along the way. Bingo.
But sometimes, the problem isn’t
the thing that you think it is. It is actually way beneath
the surface and that’s when you may need support or help
in digging further and you may need third party assistance
in releasing the emotions or “charges” that are
associated with it.
means that you’ve got to choose to take the time to read
the books that cover these topics, perhaps learn NLP, or
do Van’s Peak Home Study Program. It could mean going to
a class or speaking to a therapist or joining Libby Adams
coaching program. One of the most effective ways to shift
beliefs is to do it experientially and taking risks
outside of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself to places
that you haven’t been before and watch your beliefs
start to shift. There are a myriad of ways to do it. I am
happy to share details of classes that I’ve been to if
it is of interest to people.
what is the MOST important thing to do on the journey? It
is learning to forgive yourself along the way.
yourself for the choices that you’ve made that took you
off course. Forgive yourself in advance for the inevitable
mistakes that you are going to make. This is a journey.
You will choose, learn and shift at your own pace. Give
yourself encouragement along the way. Just do it
right now, just for the fun of it - write down ten things
that are great about you, and do that everyday for the
that much more empowering than continually telling
yourself all of the things that you are not good at? Here
are my ten:
am a great writer. I am a great friend. I am great at
smiling. I am great at telling funny stories. I am
great at making money. I am great at sleeping late. I am
great at shopping 'till I drop. I am great at multi
tasking. I am a great traveler. I am a great person.
Melita Hunt is
the CEO of the Van Tharp Institute. If you would like to
keep up with Melita’s progress regarding her recently
diagnosed lung cancer (she is a never-smoker). Please feel free to read her blog
You can contact Melita at firstname.lastname@example.org